The Soulful :D

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I Realize [Part I]

“In this life, silence is my solace, and my solace lives in silence.”

Well, that is what I thought when I tend to think of what is the BEST for me. But somehow, there stood LOVE. Warmth fills your heart; calmness lurks thru your soul when you look into their eyes. Yes, indeed I have love and be loved. It has to be the best feeling ever a person should felt at least once in a lifetime.

I am precarious. Oh, let me rephrase it for you. Indecisive. Yes, uncertain or unable to make up one’s mind. That’s me. And I realize that secretly I’ve been hurting others with my act of ambiguity. To top it up, I’m forgetful. So can you imagine me saying things today not recall it the day after and end up saying another deliberation? Well, that is how I hurt others. Then again, pardon me for being that way... though I can’t remember well what I said; I don’t lie about my feelings!

To know Riq, I’m elated. I see him as my own reflection. He owns half of my persona. God has His mysterious methods in showing ways for us to achieve great understanding in life.

And they say a woman is capricious and fickle, but I find that statement lacking truth, especially if you know a man as erratic as Riq, son of Mr. Farouk! I swear, the man shifts whichever way and I’m left dumbfounded. (Well, that is his behavior towards me... might act differently on others!) Thanks to him, I now know the feeling of pain I caused accidentally at most times. I now aware, it’s tiring to love someone as faltering as me.

But that is just not the only reason I adore him, of course. He is partly I’m not, but always wanted to be. Despite his ability to make me constantly irritated, well that’s for sure! As Simon Green quoted,

“That's just it; she's everything I'm not.
You know, she's my other half.
Without her I'm not whole."

“You know the thing about meeting your other half
is you're walking around, you think you're happy,
you think you're whole,
then you realize you ain't shit without her.
Then you can't go back to being just a half
'cause you know what it's like to be whole.”

Perhaps he doesn’t see what I see, and he will never agree to what I am saying here, but these are MY thoughts, not his. I see what you don’t see, my darling, so just trust me when I say this.

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