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Not So ‘Happy’ New Year [P1]

*Breath deeply* I have loss the will to write. And this took me 5 minutes to even tap on a letter. I’m feeling low; down actually. Yes, I should have written my feelings sooner. Erm, when it was all fresh in my mind. Nonetheless, it doesn’t change the fact that all these, these, these calamities happens. I guess most of my close friends know what have happened to me. Thank you for calming me down. Thank you for giving me all the support and advices. There are those who didn’t know yet, and I owe them explanations since I told them I would.

So here it goes. He cheated on me. Yes, CHEATED. And by “he”, I mean Rafiq. It started when I got an e-mail from someone. Still, I don’t know who he/she is. A picture of him with a woman. I would RATHER see him and Juju coz it’s gonna make sense. But not this; I don’t know who she is. He was sort of biting her right cheek. Gosh, how would you handle this situation? Starting there since, each time we talked on the phone, I would end our conversation with “Sayang, do you have something to say to me? Something you wanna tell me…?” And every single question is answered by a long, “Ermmmmmmmm…” and, “no, no, nopee… I don’t think so. Nope, nothing to tell.”

Few days before New Year, he acted strangely. Ah! Now he calls. I mean, he calls… A LOT, this time. I know he wanted to say something to me, but I think he’s thinking the way to put them. Nicely. That’s how it is to him mostly, even if he had a bad day, tomorrow’s gonna be a happy one – though he has to pretend to be. And so, I waited.

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