The Passion Fruits within Me

And I was accused of lying. Yes, bombarded with Anne saying I’m a phony. Not directly but yeah… And again, I don’t blame her. Because as for now, I don’t care what Anne thinks of me. I know who I am, well enough. I’m not retarded or pathetically lonely. At least I’m sitting on top of this high, tall tower; looking down of what Riq’s theater is all about.

And as for yesterday, I have move on. *SMILING* Yes, yes… thanks to Anne who tells me the truth, thanks for Riq who cowardly backing off. I was almost become revengeful, which I am not and hopefully never will be. And to that I owe you, Azmir who was always there consulting me with everything since the very beginning. If true love was described as having someone to love, and once we’re in it; there’s a mixture of happiness, warmth-hearted inside and always there whenever needed thru joy and pain, then YES! You are a true love indeed. You have been more than just a lover; you have been a pain in the ass, and a friend too.

And there’s Matthew who always listened to me nagging… you never fails to make me smile and blush each time. And yes, we’re too far apart… but you know how I’m feeling for you, don’t you? And yes, it’s frustrating; the thought of us never gonna see each other, but knowing you that’s something I won’t ever regret in my life. *HUGS* baby! And you asked me how, yesterday… how could I be feeling for you? Just because you are you. You’re not perfect, so am I. Knowing the fact or not, you helped me a lot. Making me feel beautiful inside and out. Sharing my secrets, and still looks at me as me, myself. And every smiles that you saw when I’m with you, that’s true. That’s me, and you made me that way… so stop! Stop saying you got nothing, stop saying you’re ugly… coz I swear to you, YOU ARE NOT. You’re beautiful, darl *BLUSH*

And I have been starting every paragraph with an “and”. *ROFL* To Amie, could LOVE be the exact word meant for you? If so, I love you. Not in the sense of me wanting you to me mine, of course. But then again, I would gladly accept it! *LOL* [knocks me on the head] Ages we have known each other. All these things, it’s more than Love itself, wouldn’t you agree? We, our bond, it’s passed beyond all that. And though we seldom talked about feelings or any emotional problems, in which I know you gonna say that you don’t have one… You know what seems to troubling me, and you do things for me NOT to think of them. You know whenever I did the wrong things, choosing the wrong options, but there you are still… Watching me doing so, letting me learn what life really is. You’re like some sort of guardian to me, more than the “Alfie” that I used to know. And I’m glad to have you here, by my side. You’re the one I would race back home to, just for a calming hug… just for a kiss on the forehead, letting all my troubles to fade away. One of the pleasures in life in which; I am never willing to let go.

To my other close friends, Ayu, Mastura and Miza… I don’t talk a lot of my emotions to you. All I’m able to do is to write this blog, as for you guys to read it. To my Adek Ayam, Lala… I love you too. *WINK* someday, we’ll meet. That I can promise you, and may I remind you that you owe me a slice of Secret Recipe Choc Cake! *LOL* I know at times I may be tiring you all thru the year with my silly emotions and all… and I’m sorry. Just run to me whenever you’re in trouble for a payback of making my life miserable instead!

My apologies to Weeta, Asha, Andrew, Jules, Kel, Nazmy and to all my friends (sorry if I’ve forgotten you in the list). And thank you for sharing this ordeal with me. And thank you for the supports, loving words to make me smile, to make me better, to help me to move on. THANK YOU! Beck, thanks for guiding me. I looked upon you more than just a mentor; I look upon you like you’re my brother. There are times I slipped away, out of this Life’s imaginary boundaries… and there you are pulling me back on track. And to Shahrom, God knows how much I miss talking to you… you once was the antidote of everything. But we have to ter-fall in love, didn’t we? *LOL* well, you still brings the joy in me. Calling me early in the morning to disturb me sleeping is NOT GOOD! *POKE* ha-ha… We need to lepaking at DE as we did last year… pointless talking if FUN!

Nabil, I still want you to burn that house! Ha-ha! Naah, thanks for making me laugh... and listening, yeah.. Ouh! And i do wanna hear that sad song too! Give em to me!! *GRINS*

And last fact of the day; I CAN FINALLY SMILE :D