Two-O-o-Seven Recap

So this is it. Tomorrow’s gonna be the last day of 2007. And what have I achieved so far? Let’s see… I know I got my own camera, new photography friends, and a job that pays the rent; apparently. And I made this blog of mine *SMILES* and people read it! Ha-ha! But, who am I to lie? You read how sucks my year went. Baah! And I am tired. I wish Time would just stop. I need to catch my breath.

What have I learned so far? Nazareth was right. Love Hurts! Toni B’s question would remain unsolved; how could an angel break my heart? And I’m still looking for someone to save me from myself. I know Aguilera’s found her Genie. Okay, I don’t know what to write anymore. I’m too depressing, even for myself. My bestie slaps me yesterday. Not slapping me literally, but with his words.

Amie: Ko nie knape B?
Me: Hurm, entah la… Aku stuck.
Amie: Dengan sape? Aku? (laughing). Si UK tue? Rafiq?
Me: Rafiq. Aku stuck dengan Rafiq.
Amie: Aku rasa Rafiq tue bukan jantan la B. Tolak la sume benda yang dia tipu ko… Ko call dia pun, dia datang ke? Buang masa la B. Buang masa… Buang duit ko gak dok calling orang yang takkan datang.
Me: Dah tue, sape yang aku call leh datang camtu je B? Ko je la. Aku mane ramai kawan pun.
Amie: Ko dengan aku B, nak kata ape pun aku tak tau dah. Scandal? Tak pun. Aku takde consider ko nie scandal aku. Tapi ko tengok aku datang lepak dengan ko. Seminggu brape kali aku lepak dengan ko? Temankan ko? Aku dengan kerja aku, dengan pompuan-pompuan lain yang aku dating lagi, pun ade masa temankan ko.
Me: (Quiet)
Amie: Ko nak tau ape aku pikir? Despite yang aku rasa si Rafiq nie penipu? Cuba la satu hari nanti si UK tue dok Malaysia balik, for good… Pastu ko pegi balik kat dia, ko rasa Rafiq buat ape? Aku rasa Rafiq BUAT BODOH je! Dia tak kisah pun B.
Me: (Quiet)
Amie: Nak tak nak pun, aku tau ko agree dengan ape aku cakap B. Kan? Betul tak ape aku cakap?
Me: (Speechless)
Amie: Aku rasa kalau si UK tue balik, ko eventually pegi kat dia. Rafiq tue aku rasa cam rebound je. Infact aku rasa si UK tue lagi bagus la B.
Me: B!! *sigh* dah la tue. Ko tau, dulu si Azmir ingat dia rebound ko. Ha-ha!
Amie: Ape pasal lak? Ah! Skarang nie, ape yang aku nak cakap, benda-benda yang aku ajar ko dulu, ko tak buat dah. Ko cam budak yang blajar tak abis. Separuh jalan sume pun.
Me: B, aku boleh je nak buat cam ko ajar tue. Masalahnya hati aku ni bkan kering cam ko. Dulu yer la aku jadi cam ko kejap. Right now aku tak boleh. Pastu aku takde orang nak talk to.
Amie: Cakap je la ngan aku.
Me: Tak boleh la bongok!! Aku tak boleh cakap emotional thingy dengan ko! Nanti ko pukul pale aku!
Amie: Ko pun ketuk pale aku ape?!
Me: Ahh! Aku cakap tak boleh, tak boleh la, bodoh!! PUKI!!
Amie: Hahahahahaha~!

And then his brother shows up. It was that. Just that. And it hit me hard. The thought that he wouldn’t care. And if I was missing even for a day, he wouldn’t call me or wonder where I’ve gone. A year and a month it has been now. Would it be ending soon? Would I somehow break out of this, this…? I don’t know.

“Tomorrow, we’ll have our New Year’s Resolutions, won’t we, Bella?”

Yes, we will. And I want to try to stick with it. Remind me not to live a year without one. THIS is the result of it. THIS! (Yerp, somehow I didn’t make any resolution this year… and my life trembling down! Baah!!)